Time on my Hands

Before Christmas (14 Dec to be exact) I took a tumble. I slipped on some ice and landed with my considerable weight on my left elbow. Ok, those who know me may wonder if alcohol was a factor in this. Well, m'lud, let me make it clear from the start that I had been in Manchester since noon on our works' Christmas 'do' but in mitigation I had not been caning it and had drunk water at regular intervals. In fact by the time of the fall I had probably not had a drink for a couple of hours. Nevertheless I'm sure the alcohol in my system probably lessened the pain of the fall, thankfully. What probably made it worse is that I was holding a carrier bag containing a bottle of blackberry liqueur I had bought for Caroline so when I fell I automatically tried to protect the bottle in my right hand. I successfully prevented the bottle from breaking but did not have the same success with my left arm.

I picked myself up and decided that I would forego the kebab I had planned to get and would go straight home. When I got there I realised that the problem was more than just a bang and a bruise so I went off to A&E to meet the other drunken idiots that gather there on a Friday night (no, Lord Mancroft, not the nurses). Anyway to get to the point I was eventually (after about five hours) put in plaster and taken to a ward. It transpired that I had dislocated my elbow, broken two bones in the forearm, damaged the ligaments and shattered the elbow. I went to theatre on the Tuesday when an upper limb specialist was available and ended up with metal pins sticking out of my arm in a frame to prevent any movement. Being left-handed ensured maximum effect.

The best thing about the experience was undoubtedly the morphine button. Because the pain was so bad I was on a morphine drip and every time the light on the button came on I could press it and receive a dose. This was every five or six minutes. Talk about spaced out! Reality set in though when I realised that, nice though it would be to experience such a blissful state permanently, if I wanted to be home for Christmas I would have to wean myself off the happy juice. Showing tremendous restraint I managed this and was happily home over the festive period. Unfortunately I was pretty much reliant on Caroline to help me in most tasks such as dressing, showering (bin liner over the whole arm), drying, eating etc.

As time has gone on I have become more self reliant and the frame came off about six weeks ago. Unfortunately I have limited movement and the specialist says I will never be able to straighten the arm again. I have a number of exercises to try to increase the movement but it is a slow process and there appears to be some nerve damage preventing me from straightening my index finger and thumb. I am unable to drive and am still absent from work. I am still on regular doses of painkillers and any prolonged keyboard work is painful.

I'm hoping to return to work in a couple of weeks or so but it remains to be seen how much I will be able to do. It's frustrating that something so simple has caused such upheaval and that I played rugby league for nigh on 20 years without anything as serious or painful as this happening.

I don't feel totally confident with my arm yet. Last week I should have been going to see The Levellers but packed out as I didn't want to get it knocked or fall on it. Hopefully as movement increases and soreness diminishes I will be able to do more.