Sponsoring the Moshpits

Went to see Half Man Half Biscuit again last night, this time at The Mill in Preston. It's a completely different venue to the last time at The Academy in Liverpool - probably a quarter of the capacity - but it was very busy last night. As usual the set was very varied with the surprise oldie being Sealclubbing. Unfortunately the cover version was the same as Liverpool - I Think We're Alone Now - introduced with a curt "Tommy James and the Shondells" to distance it from the Tiffany version presumably! We also got an airing of It's Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas which was seasonal. It's a while since I've been in the moshpit but there were about 15 of us bobbing away, with a combined age of about 2,100 years. Plenty of greying or bald heads on show. And you have to be a special sort of fan to buy some white oven gloves and write 'Joy Division' on them in marker pen as the guy behind me had done!

Incidentally the Pringles at the 24 Hour Garage were an outrageous £14.20 this time.

Probably not quite as good as Liverpool but excellent nonetheless.

Set list as follows:

Restless Legs
Sealclubbing
For What is Chatteris?
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
Third Track Main Camera
Monmore Hare's Running
CORGI Registered Friends
99% of Gargoyles
Foot Up in Europe
Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal
Uffington Wassail
Vatican Broadside
San Antonio Foam Party
Albert Hammond Bootleg
Twenty-Four Hour Garage People
PRS Yearbook
Look Dad No Tunes
Running Order Squabble Fest
Shit Arm Bad Tattoo
Four Skinny Indie Kids
If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
Lark Ascending
Twenty Seven Yards of Dental Floss
Fred Titmus
I Think We're Alone Now
We Built This Village on a Trad Arr Tune
Trumpton Riots

Encore

It's Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Everything's AOR

Listening Post

And this week I have been mainly listening to …

GORILLAZ – Demon Days
PAUL WELLER – As Is Now
PATTI SMITH – Horses and Horses (live)
THE JAM – All Mod Cons
RICHARD HAWLEY – Cole’s Corner
THE NIGHTINGALES – In The Good Old Country Way
SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES – Peel Sessions 1 and 2
THE DAMNED – Damned Damned Damned
Some GO PRODUCTION Mash Ups (go to www.goproductions.co.uk)

HMHB Lyric of the Day

… and thanks to ‘Stainto’ for the HMHB Lyric of the Day:

“My grandfather's clock was too big for the shelf, so I sold it and opened up a store....selling Joy Division Oven Gloves!”

‘Joy Division Oven Gloves’ from Achtung Bono.

More Gigs

Just to round up the recent gigs I’ve been to I saw the blessed Half Man Half Biscuit at their (almost) hometown gig at Liverpool Academy. I’ve seen them seven or eight times and I think this is the best I have been to. The place was packed and I reckon a third of them must have been on the guest list. It’s the first gig I’ve been to in ages where the touts were genuinely wanting to buy rather than having loads to sell. We missed the support as we were in the pub and managed to get quite close to the stage. The set list was as follows:

The Light at the End of The Tunnel
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus
CORGI Registered Friends
Running Order Squabble Fest
If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
Restless Legs
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
For What Is Chattteris …
Monmore Hare’s Running
Them’s The Vagaries
99% of Gargoyles
Hallelujah/Vatican Broadside
CAMRA Man
Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo
PRS Yearbook
Paintball’s Coming Home
Wrong Grave for 23 Years
All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit
Them’s the Vagaries
Letters Sent
The Len Ganley Stance
Footprints
Look Dad, No Tunes
I Think We’re Alone Now
We Built this City on a Trad. Arr. Tune
Everything’s AOR
Twenty Four Hour Garage People
A Country Practice

Encores:

Venus In Flares
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Trumpton Riots

And yes, that was a cover of the Tiffany song ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’.

I’m seeing them this Thursday as well, this time in a much smaller venue – The Mill in Preston. It’s walking distance from home; even better!

A couple of weeks ago I went to see The Damned and Wreckless Eric at the Mill – veterans of Stiff Records in the late ‘70s. Eric was on when we arrived and I don’t think I’ve ever heard one man get so much noise out of one guitar! I’ve always liked his stuff and he was a great performer – funny too. The Damned were incredibly tight and put on a really good show with most of the hits. They are real crowd pleasers and got a great reaction. I’d forgotten what a good guitarist Sensible is.

In October it was The Fall at The Mill, supported by John Cooper Clarke. As expected it was all recent stuff from MES and they only played about 50 minutes in total. The set list was:

Theme From Sparta FC
Pacifying Joint
Clasp Hands
Ride Away
Assume
Wrong Place Right Time - I Can Hear The Grass Grow
What About Us
Midnight In Aspen
Mountain Energei
Touch Sensitive
Bo D
Blindness


Again, the band were really tight but it was spoilt a bit by one arsehole in the crowd trying to touch MES all gig. A workmanlike performance rather than anything spectacular although as MES constantly looks on the verge of doing something weird and wonderful it is never dull.

Ian Brown

The following day I went to see Ian Brown in Manchester and after Paul Weller he would have a lot to live up to. We drove over to friends in Stalybridge and got the train into town, but not before a couple of pints at the excellent Buffet Bar on the station. We sampled a few of Manchester’s watering holes but we seemed to be jinxed all day – whenever we ordered pints of cloudy beer we hit problems. The Kronenbourg Blanc in Wetherspoon’s was coming out of the pump at the rate of a pint every three hours and was eventually declared “off”. The Edelweiss Austrian Wheat Beer in All Bar One (or Allbarone [in an Italian accent] as one acquaintance thought it was) was similarly unavailable and the Hoegaarden in another pub (The Wellington?) went off after a pint and a half had been pulled. We also paid a visit to the German market where we sampled hog roast, spicy sausages and banana and chocolate pancakes.

I’m not a fan of the MEN Arena – I much prefer more intimate venues. We got there just in time to see one of the support acts; a street magician named Dynamo. Now I don’t know which bright spark decided that someone doing close up magic tricks in a massive warehouse like the MEN was a good idea but even with the two big screens it was impossible to see what was going on. The poor fella lasted about five minutes before being booed off. Ian Brown opened with Elizabeth My Dear then I Wanna Be Adored which in my opinion was a mistake as his own material doesn’t really stand up next to The Stone Roses stuff. His voice, which I expected to be quite weak live, was actually ok but I felt the show flagged a bit. The hometown crowd went wild all the way through but for me it fell flat as the weak Carlsberg I drank. I will stick with my memory of seeing him with the Roses playing in the foyer of the Preston Guild Hall in 1989.

Paul Weller

Well, I have shamefully neglected my blog for two and a half months so it’s probably time to make a new entry and then forget it for another six months. On Friday I went to see Paul Weller in Blackpool with Caroline. The support was The Ordinary Boys and I was keen to catch them as I thought their album was half decent. I can tell you that the last song they played was good. I can’t comment on the rest, as they were just finishing as we got there at about 8pm. They must have been on at 7:30pm – not a situation I am used to at gigs. I imagined we would have a long wait for Weller to appear but at 8:25pm he strolled on to a rapturous reception. I’ve not seen him live since the live debut of The Style Council in about ’82 or ’83 at a CND Rally in Brixton so I was looking forward to this and to be honest I was totally blown away – the boy played an absolute blinder. He was on for 2 hours and 20 minutes with barely a duff tune in all that time. He really seemed in a good mood, contrary to his ‘miserable bugger’ persona and the whole band seemed to really enjoy themselves. I will post the set list later but we got a good mix of Jam, Style Council and solo stuff with the highlights for me being In The Crowd, Changingman, Gilded Splinters, Come On/Let’s Go, That’s Entertainment, Wild Wood and a storming Town Called Malice to finish. It ranks as one of the best gigs I’ve been to, and I’ve been to a fair few in my years. Additionally he looks brilliant – he has aged particularly well and his voice has that gravely feel that too many fags has done. Fortunately it suits his songs. Thoroughly recommended.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

The new HMHB CD came out this week so expect a few nuggets from it in the near future.


"In the kingdom of the blind, they say the one-eyed man is king.
In the kingdom of the bland it's 9 o'clock on ITV."

'Corgi Registered Friends' from Achtung Bono!

Holidays pt 2

After leaving Bowness we headed up to the North East for a spot of house-sitting for some old college friends. Steve and Paula live in a fantastic house in the middle of nowhere (otherwise known as Cornhill) next to a farm. It was ideal as there is a massive garden and the kids played cricket and football at every opportunity. Steve and family were off to Scotland for a week's camping leaving us in charge of the animals (two cats, some hens and some ducks). Fresh eggs every morning were a luxury I could get used to.

as soon as we got there on the Friday I took the boys down to the cricket club at which Steve coaches. It's a lovely setting in the village of Etal and it got better with a trip to the local pub, The Black Bull, which is the only thatched pub in Northumberland apparently, for a pint of Deuchars IPA - exceptional.

We waved off our hosts and Saturday was spent shopping and stocking up for the week, and finding our way around the place. Fortunately Steve is fully Sky-ed up so I was able to watch the Saints v London game in the evening.

The next day we went to a local Sheep Dog Trials at Kirknewton, which was interesting but the kids soon got bored. There were a few stalls and pastimes and the lads had a go at Archery, but as Dan said "It's a bit like the Craggy Island Fun Day". All that was missing was the Cat-a-Go-Round, with a cat on a turntable. The best part was being introduced to the local ice cream made by Doddingtons - the vanilla is great but the Double Ginger is out of this world.

Later in the week we went on a walk up a local hill, Yeavering Bell, which has the ruins of a Saxon fort at the top. The kids whinged about the walk as usual but all were proud to have made it up there. They enjoyed the descent more.

We also took a trip to Bamburgh and looked round the castle and played on the beach (rugby this time) before heading into Seahouses for fish and chips.

On the Saturday Ian and Leslie (from the first part of the holiday - are you keeping up?) came up with the two lads and we played cricket and watched the Challenge Cup final. We returned the compliment on the way home on Monday, calling to see them in Whitley Bay before returning home pretty tired.

We had a great time over the two weeks but it didn't prepare us for the disappointment of having to return to work!

Holidays

We started off with a few days in Bowness which was just what we needed. We played a lot of cricket and managed to get in a couple of walks - nothing too strenuous as the kids whinge too easily! On the first day we met a family from Newcastle who got involved in the game of cricket we were playing after which they came back to ours to watch the conclusion of the third Ashes test from Old Trafford. They had actually gone to Old Trafford that morning but along with thousands of others had been unable to gain access to the ground. We met up with them again at Fellfoot Park on a glorious Wednesday when the sun was beating down. Surprise, surprise, more cricket was played. We went out for a meal with them on the Thursday and had a few beers back at the house. We also met up with them when we were in the North East on the next leg of the holiday(more on that later). Hi to Ian and Lesley and their two boys Matty and Benjamin.

We were really fortunate with the weather in Bowness and had just one shower of rain, on the Thursday evening. The conditions were good for walking, although it was a little warm when we walked to Sawrey and I was grateful for the pint of Hawkshead Bitter half way round!

We had promised the kids a trip to the cinema during the week but we kept that busy with other things that we just didn't have the time or inclination to go.

A great start to our holidays and it was going to get even better as we ventured up to Northumberland.

To be continued ...

Long Time No See

It's over a month since I posted here - I wondered how long it would take for lethargy to set in. To be fair I have been on holiday for much of that time so there is a bit of an excuse but I still need to knuckle down if I am going to carry on with this.

This Week I Have Mostly Been Listening To ....

'Vivadixiesubmaruinetransmissionplot' by Sparklehorse

'Complete Peel Sessions' (again!) by The Fall

'Employment' by The Kaiser Chiefs

'Candi Staton' by Candi Staton

'The Magic Numbers' by The Magic Numbers

'Almost Blue' by Elvis Costello

'Low' by David Bowie

'Origin of Symmetry' by Muse

'BMFA' by Martha Wainwright

'Catholic Boy' by Jim Carroll

'The Slack Album' by DJ N-WEE

'Kilimanjaro' by Teardrop Explodes

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Tower block, You couldn't score in a tower block"

'Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite' from the CD This Leaden Pall

Shock Horror!

Credit where it's due. I saw a billboard for the Lancashire Evening Post last week that contained no grammatical error where you would have sworn there would be one. The board talking about charges against some squaddies based at Preston Barracks read:

“Preston Soldiers’ Shame”

with a correctly placed apostrophe!!

Glasgow

I went up to Glasgow at the weekend with Caroline. It’s a place I have only been to once before. That was with work and I only saw the inside of pubs the whole evening! This time we went on the train and arrived at noon. We wandered down to the hotel, which was handily placed on George Street and left our bags then set off to explore the city. We decided to take one of the open-topped tourist buses – a bit of a clichéd idea but as it turned out an excellent way to get a feel for what a city is like and which bits of it you would like to see more of. The tour lasted about an hour and a quarter and the good thing about the ticket was that it lasted for two days and you could hop on and off as you pleased. We then went looking at the main shopping areas and decided we needed to eat or else dinner (lunch, whatever) would start to merge with tea (dinner blah, blah). Unfortunately, not knowing where all the good bars and restaurants were located we couldn’t find anywhere suitable and ended up in Burger King! Not an auspicious start to the weekend! Having eaten we went to the McLellan Gallery which houses some of the exhibits from the Kelvingrove, which is undergoing renovation and will not open again until next year. There were some fine examples of Rennie Macintosh’s work as well as paintings by the ‘Glasgow Boys’ group of painters. Some fantastic Italian works from the 15th and 16th Century are also on display as well as paintings by Rembrandt, Whistler and Lowry. A really enjoyable little gallery and I felt justified in suggesting a swift pint having done the cultural aspect so well. We found a decent boozer in the ‘Drum and Monkey’ and refreshed ourselves with some Hoegaarden and Deuchars IPA.

On the way back we had a look around to see what was on offer restaurant-wise and found what looked like a good Tapas bar which was already getting busy at around 6:30pm. We went back and got ready for the evening and I was overjoyed to be offered a flyer on the way down for a bar – I’ve not been offered one of those for years! As a reward we decided to honour them with our presence. It was a bar next to a Wetherspoons and it seemed to be trying to be a similar sort of place, albeit with loud music. Even the menu seemed very Wetherspoons-ish. We decided after one drink that it was a bit too dark and noisy for us so we would try the Wetherspoons next door. Out we came, headed next door only to find it was the same place! No wonder it seemed very like a Wetherspoons! It must be my age.

We walked to the Tapas bar which by this time was heaving. Fortunately the guy on the door took our names and told us to return at 9:30pm and we should have a table. 2 drinks at ‘All Bar One’ (one a particularly good pint of Paulaner lager from Munich) and we were back at the Tapas. “Just get a drink at the bar and we’ll be with you shortly” was the recommendation so I sampled the Cruzcampo and true to their word we were at a table within 5 minutes. After a bit of debate we decided to get seven Tapas dishes between us so we had a paella with chorizo, a lovely lamb casserole, some pickled anchovies, a chicken dish with sage, some meatballs, some potato and sweetcorn croquettes and some King Prawns with garlic. They were all delicious and the whole meal came to less than £25. We would certainly go back and sample some of the items we couldn’t manage this time. Back to ‘All Bar One’ for another drink before heading back to the hotel at last orders.

The next day we decided we would go to the Barras for the market held on Saturdays and Sundays. We got the tourist bus up there and it was then time to get some breakfast. Into a Greasy Joe’s for two bacon rolls and two mugs of tea. £3.20 – bargain. Halfway through doing the rashers on the griddle the bloke serving took them off and dumped them in the deep fat fryer with the chips before putting them back on the griddle after a minute or so! I had heard that lots of food in Scotland was deep-fried but I hadn’t realised the extent of it. We had been told that the Baras would be quite an experience and it was. There are dozens of stalls selling copied CDs and DVDs and other software and loads of blokes walking round selling tobacco and cigarettes. It seemed like every man, woman and child in the Gorbals with access to a PC was selling counterfeit goods! After a while though, all the stalls merged into one and we went off for the tourist bus again. We wanted to do the Hunterian up at the University of Glasgow but unfortunately it shuts on Sundays. We will have to see the Macintosh collection another time. As it was a gorgeous day we decided to head up to the West End and visit the Botanic Gardens. The West End is quite different to the City Centre – a bit more bohemian. You can tell it is a favoured haunt of the University academics. Some great shops too. The Gardens were interesting, even though I am not a gardening type at all. After a while we headed back to the city, having got a couple of tasty cakes from a fantastic deli. As our train was at 5:45pm we had a couple of drinks at a nice bar called The Ingram before getting a Sunday two course special at a Chinese. Just time for a farewell pint of Deuchars at the Ingram before collecting the bags and heading for the station.

We really enjoyed Glasgow and would definitely go back. There are still plenty of things to see that we didn’t have the chance to experience so therewill be no need to repeat anything (well, apart from The Ingram and the Tapas bar maybe!)

We had a weekend of culture of all sorts - culture and arts at the gallery, horticulture at the Botanic Gardens and sub-culture at the Barras!

Did the Americans botch it?

An unashamed copy from metafilter.com:

Are the London bombings a possible long-term result of an Administration undercover operative outing? And, why exactly was this deep mole agent blown by the US Administration in August of 2004, concurrent with raising the DHS Threat Level to Orange for NYC and Washington DC financial services? While the Plame blame game and investigation carries on, we now have another old news story about a rara avis Al Qaeda double-agent undercover operative outing that is suddenly rising from the ashes of dusty newsprint almost like a phoenix seeking it's own special prosecutor. -- Following the thread of the story is a bit of a tangle, so an attempt to unsnarl the imbroglio is provided inside....


Remember the Al Qaeda operative Naeem Khan, and his infamous communications hub of a laptop, an arrest widely reported in the news during the first week of August, 2004? While on

Coincidentally, August 1st the Homeland Security Threat Level was raised to Code Orange for the financial services sector in New York City, Northern New Jersey and Washington, DC.

I remember it well because a client of our security firm was one of the NYC stock exchanges, and there was some concern afoot.

ABC News just reported that the British authorities say they have evidence that the London attacks last week were an operation planned by Al Qaeda for the last two years.

Not reported by ABC was that after his arrest Khan started working for our side - sending emails to his other Al Qaeda buddies, working as our mole.

What is the Khan connection to the London bombings? Well, intelligence officials at the time said that the plans discovered on Khan's computer included attacks on London's transport system as well as Heathrow Airport.

Furthermore, according to Americablog, " ABC reports that names in Khan's computer matched a suspected cell of British citizens of Pakistani decent, many of who lived near the town of Luton, England - Luton is the same town where, not coincidentally, last week's London bombing terrorists began their day. According to ABC, authorities thought they had stopped the subway plot with the arrest of more than a dozen people last year associated with Khan. Obviously, they hadn't.

“This was an operation the Brits thought they caught and stopped in time, but they were wrong. The piece of the puzzle ABC missed is that this is an operation the Bush administration helped botch last year. It seems at the time it was notable, yet basically ignored in the reportage of the event, that Khan was a deep undercover mole who had been flipped to work for the West."

Security experts in 2004 were quoted as being "shocked" when administration officials outed Mohammad Naeem Noor Khan as an al Qaeda mole.

Jane's Defense security expert Tim Ripley pondered, "You have to ask: what are they doing compromising a deep mole within al Qaeda, when it's so difficult to get these guys in there in the first place? It goes against all the rules of counter-espionage, counter-terrorism, running agents and so forth. It's not exactly cloak and dagger undercover work if it's on the front pages every time there's a development, is it?"

At the time, Juan Cole noted that "The announcement of Khan's name forced the British to arrest 12 members of an al-Qaeda cell prematurely, before they had finished gathering the necessary evidence against them via Khan." At least one of those people was subsequently released due to lack of evidence.

Connecting the dots between the Khan story leak and the London bombing: Seems that some of the non-arrested cell members that were tipped by the news announcement of Khan's capture took the hint, fled, and escaped the ensuing dragnet.

According to some reports coming out of the current investigation of the London bombing, some of the actors involved in the London transport bombing may have ties to those escapees. This investigation (resonating the immortal words of Scott McClellan in not commenting on Karl Rove) is still developing.

However, if this blowback is in any part true about as having arisen from our blowing Khan, we just may have a serious problem with outing our own critical anti-terrorism undercover agents in Washington...and that's true even without referencing Plamegate.

Listening Post

What's been assaulting my eardrums recently? Amongst the CDs I have been listening to are:

ABC - The Lexicon of Love
Manic Street Preachers - Lifeblood
Decade - Neil Young
Sugar - Copper Blue
The Pogues - If I Should Fall From Grace With God
The Story of Jamaican Music - Various 4CD
The Fall - Hex Enduction Hour
Paul Weller - Stanley Road and Wild Wood
Deaf School - English Boys Working Girls
Talking Heads - The Name of this Band is Talking Heads
Brian Wilson - Smile
Scott Walker - Scott
Van Morrisson - Astral Weeks
The Adverts - Crossing the Red Sea with The Adverts

and many more I can't remember.

7/7

Since last posting I had a sobering experience. I was due to attend a meeting in Holborn, London last Thursday 7 July. I was booked on to the 07:18 from Preston, due to arrive at about 09:45. Fortunately, because of engineering works north of Preston the train was 25 minutes late leaving. Had it been on time I would probably been on Southampton Row at the same time the bomb on the bus exploded. As it happened the train was halted at Watford Junction andwe all had to make our way back North. Of course I was only on the very periphary of the incident, not even being in London, but it did make me stop and think about what might have been.

I have never been overly concerned at the prospect of being caught up in a terrorist attack like that. I don't mena that I think it would be a pleasant experience just that the possibility is remote. It has never been enough to put me off travelling anywhere. I was in New York three weeks after 9/11 having had the flight booked for months and it never occurred to me to not travel. So being relatively close (and having had the possibility of being even closer) was something new.

I can't imagine what it must have been like to be caught up in it all. How would I have reacted if I had been walking past the BMA at the very time of the detonation? I suspect that after the initial shock I would have had the selfish reaction of 'How will I get home today?'

It doesn't put me off travelling. I will continue to travel to London whenever I have to. I will not be put off making plans to go anywhere. this is not a bravado stand agains terrorists, showing them that our way of life will carry on regardless of what they throw at us; it's a lot more mundane than that. It's the way I have always been and I guess the way I always will be. Not necessarily unconcerned but not concerned enough to make me change.

The hat trick hero from the 75 - 0 demolition of the Pie Eaters

One of my favourite pictures!

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Why it's Mr Kowalski, it was you all along.
That ski lodge would have been mine if it wasn't for you meddling kids"

'Outbreak of Vitus Gerulaitis' from the CD McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt

Update

It’s been a while since I posted anything here so it’s about time I rectified things. Rugby-wise things are looking good at the moment. The U14s side I coach played a friendly a couple of weeks ago against their local rivals Chorley who play in a division above the one in which we play. With both teams at full strength Leyland ran out winners by 19 points to 10. This came on the back of another victory in a friendly over them about 3 weeks earlier. Things are looking promising for next season for us. A good test will be the 9 a side tournament at Chorley on Sunday when we will be playing against teams who all play at a higher level than us. With three of our key players absent it will be interesting to see how we cope.

On the professional front Saints inflicted the heaviest defeat EVER (75 – 0) on their fiercest rivals Wigan. Not only that but we prevented them from scoring and beat the score posted against Wigan the previous week by Leeds of 70 – 0. It was a great feeling watching us do that to a side that has crucified us on many occasions previously.

Album Of 2005 (so far)

Well, as we are nearly half way through 2005 already my thoughts turn to what has been my album of the year so far.

I will go for 'Gods and Monsters' by I Am Kloot, closely followed by 'Songs for Silverman' by Ben Folds and 'Some Cities' by Doves. Honourable mention for debut of the year to Bloc Party's 'Silent Alarm'.

Box Set of the Year has only one serious contender - 'The Complete Peel Sessions' by the mighty Fall. 6 CDs worth of all the tracks ever recorded by this wonderful band for the John Peel show. As close to a complete document of their career as you can get.

Reissue of the year is a tie between Paul Weller's 'Stanley Road' and The Kinks' 'The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society'.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves,
There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves,
With the possible exception of being Garth Crooks,
There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves"

'Lock Up your Mountain Bikes' from the CD Single Look Dad No Tunes

Pie Eaters in Free Fall

Well, we've covered the decline of Bradford further down - what about those strike-breaking Pie Eaters? This is from Manchesteronline:

Wigan Warriors in crisis

WIGAN Warriors are a club in crisis with the world's most famous rugby league team reeling on the ropes and fighting for Super League survival.

Once-mighty Wigan are in free-fall and facing relegation. The club's current plight is alarming and in stark contrast to the champagne glory days when they dominated the sport.

Dismayed fans are still coming to terms with a punchless performance in a record 70-0 defeat by arch-rivals Leeds.

It's left the team's confidence in tatters. Dressing-room morale has reached an all-time low and Wigan now face an acid test of character.

Their illustrious reputation as a top club is under serious threat following 11 defeats already this season.

Chairman Maurice Lindsay insists the players under new coach Ian Millward must work their way through a crisis that has plunged Wigan deeper into what has been unknown territory for the club.

Millward, the former St. Helens coach, faces a massive job trying to restore former glories to a team short of world-class stars and ravaged by injury.

Millward now faces his biggest-ever test as a coach and is back at Knowsley Road on Sunday to take on his former club in a massive Challenge Cup quarter-final clash.

More tough times lie ahead as Millward masterminds a three-year rebuilding programme he hopes will eventually see them restore former glories.

Here, M.E.N. Sport analyses the key areas where it is going wrong for the Warriors.

1: THE LOSS OF STAR PLAYERS

ANDY Farrell, Adrian Lam, Craig Smith and Terry O'Connor were the backbone of Wigan's last genuine quality team but they've now gone leaving a massive hole.

No wonder coach Ian Millward claims there is a definite lack of on-field leaders.

No team with aspirations of success can afford to lose so many players of such class in one-fell swoop. Wigan are not an exception.


2: INJURY TO SEVERAL KEY PLAYERS

WIGAN have never fielded their strongest line-up and injury has definitely contributed to the team's Super League slide.

They have badly missed both Sean O'Loughlin and Gareth Hock - two very talented young forwards who have been ruled out for the season. Other key players such as winger Brian Carney have been missed.


3: ARE EXPECTATIONS TOO HIGH?

MAYBE they are but rival teams no longer fear Wigan and club bosses must surely realise this by now.

Finishing second may still not be viewed by certain people as acceptable for Wigan but anyone thinking this needs a reality check.

The glory days are fast becoming a fading memory now that Super League is competed for an "even playing field."

No one club will ever dominate again.


4: IS IAN MILLWARD THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB?

DEFINITELY - he's arguably the best coach in the game and if anyone can transform Wigan's fortunes, Millward can.

Wigan had to go for him when he left Saints - it was some coup but the time to judge him is when he brings in the players he feels are worthy of pulling on a Wigan shirt.


5: KRIS RADLINSKI'S RL FUTURE IS IN DOUBT AND IS THIS UNSETTLING?

RADS' time at Wigan could soon be up with a cross code move to rugby union looking inevitable.

A move would not be a surprise but why did Wigan allow his understudy Shaun Briscoe join Hull?


6: DO FANS SEE WIGAN ATHLETIC AS A THREAT?

WARRIORS may have taken over the town's "poor relation" mantle with Latics in the Premiership but Warriors' fans remain incredibly loyal.


7: WAS THERE TOO MUCH RELIANCE ON ANDY FARRELL?

FAZ is a truly world-class player who was worth his weight in gold to Wigan but far too much was expected and taken on by himself.

Faz falls under the irreplaceable category and his legacy lives on despite his move to union, but Wigan now need to move on.


8: WHAT ABOUT THE RECRUITMENY POLICY?

WIGAN can no longer splash out on the very best players and questions can be asked of many sub-standard signings.

The buck stops somewhere and while Wigan deserve credit for developing home-grown stars, they have thrown too many juniors in at the deep end.


9: HAVE THERE BEEN TOO MANY COACHES?

WIGAN have fallen into the trap of chopping and changing but at least Millward has been given time to start from scratch.

He faces a tough task but if he puts the right kind of structures in place and triggers a response from players with a hunger for success, then things will work out for him.


10: CAN WIGAN WIN SUNDAY'S CUP CLASH WITH SAINTS?

IT would be a huge surprise to see the Warriors bounce back from their Headingley nightmare and win at Knowsley Road.

Wigan will make a fist of it and are under no pressure but this game has possibly come around too soon for Millward.

And more ...

I heard another example of poor grammar yesterday in a trailer for the new film Mr and Mrs Jones.

"The most deadliest ..."

No, no - it's 'the most deadly' or 'the deadliest'.

My Bete Noire

There aren’t many things that get me worked up (well, there are, but that’s another story …) biut one thing that gets my goat and which I get out of all proportion is poor grammar.

I was watching Law and Order on the Hallmark channel last week when they ran a trailer for some movie season showing “on Wednesday’s” (sic). Why the apostrophe – it’s just a plural for God’s sake! It annoys me when I see similar examples outside greengrocers’ shops (“Loose Potato’s 40p per kilo”) but when you see it on screen when it should have been checked by God knows how many people it makes it worse.

While I’m at it I also detest the use of ‘of’ instead of ‘have’, as in “I would of done it but I couldn’t be bothered.” That’s just unforgiveable. In speech it may be difficult to distinguish between the two words, especially with certain accents but when it’s written down it’s horribly ugly.

May I recommend to fellow pedants the Lynne Truss book ‘Eats Shoots and Leaves’ and the John Humphrys book ‘Lost for Words’. Both contain a large number of examples of manglings of the English language that will make your blood boil and have you despairing for the future of our language.

I think I have become a grumpy old man.

DannyMo - the next Keith Moon

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Dear Mr McGee,

Please find enclosed the latest demo from Liquid Greek. Derided by the mainstream as shoegazing also-rans the band have nevertheless persevered with their 'off-kilter or nothing' policy in the hope that someone like your good self will eventually realise, and thus promote, this violent but ultimately beautiful genre which we have dubbed 'New Noise'.

The first track is based upon the high-pitched lamentations of an unbalanced Lincoln woman who nurses injured buzzards back to health inside her dead child's wardrobe.

We hope you like it.

Yours sincerely,

Liquid Greek"

'Get Kramer' from the Eno Collaboration EP

Technophobia

I'm just getting to grips with this techy computer stuff like blogs and podcasts and RSS. When I say 'getting to grips with' I really mean 'experimenting with and failing to understand'.

Don't get me wrong, I can find my way around a computer and even cope with most of the problems it throws at me (Control-Alt-Delete seems to work well for me) but some things I just can't grasp such as having RSS feeds. Maybe it's my lack of patience or maybe it's my age but I do get lost rather easily, hence the basic look of this page.

I'm impressed with the ability to listen to BBC radio shows from the past seven days via the internet and BBC Radio Player but I wish I could put them on my iRiver MP3 player. I know there are some programmes you can do that with but they are spoken word and there are not many of them.

Give me time and there may be some improvement.

Hardest Sport?

Rugby League is the Winner!
Energy supplier Powergen has joined forces with a renowned expert in the field of sports science, Professor Mike Gleeson of Loughborough University, to answer an age old sporting question – which sport uses the most energy?

By measuring the heart rates of football, Rugby Union and Rugby League players, referees and supporters over the course of a season, Powergen has finally answered that question: the most energy sapping sport around is Rugby League.

With its combination of powerful bursts of attacking play and the strenuous nature of defence, Rugby League offers a physical challenge above and beyond other British sports:

A typical Rugby League player uses up to 6,800 Kilojoules of energy per game – roughly 10% more than a football or Rugby Union player
Rugby League players need stamina to cover the estimated 5-10 km a typical player runs in a game
They must be strong to endure the continual pounding of up to 40 tackles per match
The Powergen Player Energy Report found that although the ball is only in play for around 50 minutes during an 80 minute Rugby League game, the intensity of the activity within each passage of play makes for a gruelling physical challenge for even the fittest of players.

And although 50 minutes seems like a short period of time, it should be remembered that players in the rival Rugby Union code only exert themselves for an average of 30 minutes – giving Rugby League players 20 minutes extra to tackle, scrummage, run and pass.


Powergen, which is part of E.ON UK, has also looked into the experience of a typical supporter during a game and found that with its numerous tries and the excitement of video referees, Rugby League also offers the most nerve wracking experience for fans.

Having played all three of the sports mentioned I must agree. It confirms what we Rugby League fans have known all along.

Mississippi Burning

The reputed Ku Klux Kansman, Edgar Ray Killen, is about to go on trial for the murder in 1964 of three voter-registration volunteers. The murders inspired the Alan Parker film Mississippi Burning and the trial is an attempt to deal with some unfinished business from Mississippi's bloodstained racist past. The murders served to galvanise the civil rights movement and led to the passing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Opinions appear divided in Philadelphia where the trial is taking place - mainly along predictable racial lines. Some think there is no value in going after an 80 year old man for murders that took place over 40 years ago. I believe that justice must be seen to be done in this case. Killen's name has been involved with the case for most of those 40 years and if he is innocent then let him go free, but the relatives of the victims deserve the opportunity for closure, as the Americans are fond of saying. Apparently when the swamps around the area were dredged the bodies of many young blacks were discovered. It seems there will always be unsolved racist murders and if one of them reaches a conclusion, all the better.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Some say, some day, one of these fine nights, the Council's gonna ask Radiohead to switch off Blackpool lights."

'On Passing Lilac Urine' from the EP Editor's Recommendation

Failing to spin a plate at Hoghton Tower on Sunday

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"I'm off to see The Bootleg Beatles, as the bootleg Mark Chapman"

'When the Evening Sun Goes Down' from the CD Cammell Laird Social Club

Trouble at t' Mill

Written by John Ledger from YEP.

Caisley issues rallying call to disgruntled fans

Bradford chairman Chris Caisley tells John Ledger why the club's supporters should not lose faith in the Bulls' ability to reach the Super League grand final.
IT BEGAN as a steady trickle, quickly became a procession and soon degenerated into a stampede as hundreds of disgruntled fans headed for the exits at Odsal last Sunday.
There may have been a full 20 minutes remaining but many people steadfastly refused to stay and witness what was to become a record home defeat for Bradford. As sickening as the margin of their 66-4 defeat by St Helens was, it was the way in which the Bulls capitulated against the team that has so often proved their nemesis in the Super League era that caused most concern, anxiety and anger among the sport's most demanding supporters.
Although no team has an automatic right to glory, the followers of Bradford Bulls have come to expect, rather than hope for, success from their heroes. Having grown fat on the rich pickings at Odsal in recent years, they had neither the stomach nor the heart to see them through the lean times the Bulls find themselves in.
With the taunts of the St Helens fans ringing in their ears, they streamed out towards the car parks like an army of spoilt children, while the more resilient among their number remained to send the Bradford players from the field amid a chorus of boos.
For Chris Caisley, a man whose passion for the Bulls knows no equal, the day was a tortuous experience, not just for the result but because of the response to it by the people around him.
Just a week after fewer than 800 supporters had deigned to travel to the KC Stadium to see the Bulls complete an edifying win at Hull, Bradford's chairman was again reminded of the fickle nature of his fellow fans. "I wish people wouldn't be so negative all the time," said Caisley.
"I can understand why they are, not least because some of our worst performances have been at Odsal this season and Odsal was once a place where you would turn up expecting us to win.
"However, it's important to point out that we have had almost 10 years of almost uninterrupted success and even last year reached the grand final and won the world club title.
"We are due a little bit of patience and it's at times like this that everyone should pull together and support the club, the team and the coach.
"The players and the coaching staff have come in for a lot of unfair criticism and I'm determined that we support them. It's unfortunate that at the moment we go a score down and our crowd goes silent to the point when you can hear a pin drop.
"I hope they will reflect on all of this and give the lads their absolute top support because it's now more than any other time that they need it. All the shouting and the barracking in the world isn't going to do any good."
Bradford's troubles – they have lost seven of their 16 Super League fixtures this season and were dumped out of the Cup by Hull – have sorely tested Caisley's belief that success in sport is not necessarily cyclical but he remains convinced the Bulls' cause is not yet lost in 2005.
And with a rich crop of junior talent emerging at the club and plans to turn Odsal into a sporting village which will make it the pride of the city at an advanced stage, Caisley insists the future has rarely looked brighter.
Much of his hopes about the prospects of salvaging something from the wreckage of this season rest on the imminent return from lengthy injuries of the likes of Shontayne Hape, Paul Johnson and Lesley Vainikolo, all of whom have spent extended periods of inaction.
However, it is difficult to share his optimism in the light of the events of last weekend when the limitations of some of Bradford's key personnel was cruelly exposed. Leon Pryce's dismissal for a cynical high tackle on Jamie Lyon showed what a liability he can be, Karl Pratt appeared hopelessly out of his depth, Iestyn Harris was made to look slow and ponderous, Stuart Fielden was a shadow of his former self while Robbie Paul again showed why so many people feel he should retire now as one of the club's all-time greats rather than be remembered as someone who never knew when to go.
"We have set some pretty high standards and people expect more of us just as we expect so much more of ourselves," said Caisley.
"I don't like whingeing but we have had to deal with a lot of adversity that would have challenged any club.
"We did lose a lot of top-quality players at around the same time but as tough as it was without the likes of Jimmy Lowes, Danny Gartner and Mike Forshaw we still reached the grand final last year and won the World Club Challenge.
"This year we expected Ryan Hudson to solve our hooking problem but through no fault of our own that didn't happen and it has affected us deeply.
"We scoured the whole world to find a replacement but couldn't find anyone who was available. There are more opportunities now than there were then and by hook or by crook we will fill the No 9 position before the start of next season."
Whether the Bulls will kick off 2006 again captained by Great Britain second row Jamie Peacock remains the subject of conjecture and there is a sense Caisley's patience at the 27-year-old's delay in agreeing a new contract is wearing thin. Peacock continues to be linked with a move to arch-rivals Leeds, who this week leant weight to the view they are building up a war chest to take him to Headingley with the release of Liam Botham, and though the Bulls have not ruled out the possibility he could stay at Odsal, Caisley will not allow the player's prevarication to dictate club policy.
"These things are always a distraction and very soon we will have to get to a situation where the distraction is removed one way or another," he said. "There are other players around and rugby is the same as any other business: when you lose one employee you go out and replace them with another. Nobody is indispensable."

Thanks to The Chief from RLFans who originally posted the above.

Things are going sour at two of Rugby League's 'Big Four', Bradford and Leeds. Everyone knows that the Bulls have never adequately replaced Jimmy 'dummy spitter' Lowes and to see Robbie Paul described as an all time great is just laughable. You can't criticise Bradford for getting fans to come and watch in numbers as they have done since the start of Super League but a lot of those fans have been what are disparagingly termed teeny boppers. Girls who like Robbie's shorts. I'm not convinced that that is a long term fanbase and the fact that they were streaming out after 50 mins is not encouraging. They have been spoilt over the last few years and may not have to get used to the flip side of the coin for a while.

As for Wigan .... Agent Millward is steering them towards relegation! Well, maybe not, but it is fun to think it may be even a remote possibility!

My good mate Stu, who is always willing to share a beer and talk rugby. Cheers Stuart.

The waterfront at Bowness

Looking towards the Fairfield Horseshoe from Windermere

The Best Laid Plans ...

... of mice and men, gang aft a-gley.

I had a Sunday afternoon in Bradford planned yesterday. I was meeting up with Stuart, Sam and Colin, the usual suspects for Saints away games and also with Steve, a mate from Uni who was driving down from Northumbria' and his friend Ged. We would watch a closely fought game of Rugby League, have a swift beer and round off the day with an authentic Bradford curry. Perfect.

I had not, however, reckoned on the vagaries of the British driver and road network which scuppered my plans. As I was driving down the M6 a sign flashed that there were delays on the M61 due to an accident. Well, I thought, I'll risk a delay. What I found out once I was on the M61 (and just about to hit the back end of the tailback) was that the motorway was actually closed. After 20 mins or so I managed to exit at the next junction and attempted to get closer to the M60 on A roads. Unfortunately all the motorway traffic had been diverted off at the next junction and now was hitting the road I was on. It was totally gridlocked and with no chance of getting there for half time, never mind kick off and no chance of success on alternative routes in the time available I had to cut my losses.

Fortunately I got home in time to watch it on Sky and it wasn't the close fought game we all predicted. Saints were on fire and well in charge by the time Leon Pryce was red carded for a cowardly attack to the head of Jamie Lyon. Lyon did get up and have a stormer just to rub it in. What a game to miss.

Caroline did make a cracking chicken, spinach and cashew nut curry which was a great consolation. We shall just have to arrange to meet up some other time, although I am toying with the idea of sending Steve my season ticket and letting him go to the games whilst I stay at home if that's what happens when I don't make it.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"They're still cremating Hattie Jacques"

'Carry On Cremating' from the CD ACD

Manchester Buccaneers

Some people are very clever at spoofing!

http://spaces.msn.com/members/ManchesterBuccaneers/Blog/cns!1pB3yrxNuhKwf4jmclqeshKg!354.entry#comment

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Well I heard a lovely rumour that Bette Midler had a tumour"

'The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman' from the CD ACD

Cardiff

Commiserations to PNE for the result in the play-off final yesterday. If truth be told it was a similar performance to last time they were at Cardiff and were beaten by Bolton - they just didn't turn up. West Ham obviously benefitted from having been in a similar position and failed last year and were determined not to let it happen again. North End couldn't even say they were robbed - they only ever threatened from set pieces. It's a shame for the club and their fans but it has still been a tremendous season , especially considering they were languishing in about 18th place before Christmas. Let's hope they can go one better next year.

Thanks to Sadfish on RLFans

Taken from the Boredmuch website.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Well I know what you look like so don't ever come near Stroud"

'Bad Review' from the CD Voyage to the Bottom of the Road

Burning Question - How to get rid of Unwanted Guests?

GENEVA, Ill. May 30, 2005 — A 46-year-old man allegedly set his own home on fire in order to get two visitors to leave, police said.

Dean Craig was charged with felony arson after allegedly splashing rubbing alcohol on the floor of the two-story home in Aurora Township and using a lighter to ignite the fire around 1 a.m. Sunday, the Kane County Sheriff's office said.

When authorities arrived at Craig's home, which is owned by his mother, it was engulfed in flames, police said. Craig and his two guests were not injured.

Craig allegedly had asked two visitors to leave, but when they refused, he threatened to light his house on fire, police said.

Craig was being held Monday at the Kane County Jail on $25,000 bond. He is scheduled to appear in court on June 9.

I usually find playing my Fall CDs does the trick without the need for extensive property damage.

Nazi Nutters pt 132

Gregory Withrow and an associate staged a two-man protest at the California state capital in Sacramento in April against U.S. policies on Iraq and on immigration, and in favor of white supremacy, among other issues. The associate's role in the protest was to drive 6-inch nails into Withrow's hands on a cross as he stood as a martyr for six hours. Withrow had brought notes with him from a Butte County, California, health official (seemingly approving Withrow's plan to hurt himself) and from the Sacramento Parks Department (affirming that no permit was needed for such a protest).

I can think of many people who would have paid to nail him to the cross and do away with the need for his 'associate'.

Smoking

A widow whose husband died of lung cancer has lost her landmark court battle against the cigarette giant Imperial Tobacco. His widow claimed that he was unaware that smoking was detrimental to health and caused lung cancer. However, he started smoking in 1964 when the dangers were already well known and the judge decided he must have been aware.

I have mixed reactions to this sort of case. I do feel that the tobacco companies kept people unaware of the dangers even when they knew there was a problem, and I do think they need to be brought to account but I do have a problem with people who know the dangers and carried on smoking yet then sue the tobacco companies when they develop a related illness.

I hate smoking and I object to having to breathe in other people's smoke in places like pubs; irrespective of whether there are dangers in passive smoking or not it is uncomfortable, smelly and it makes your clothes reek. The sooner England brings in a ban on smoking in public places the better as far as I am concerned.

Good Luck to PNE

I live in Preston. I'm not from there but I moved from St Helens when I got married. PNE are in the play-off final tomorrow against West Ham Utd, who are the favourites to take the final place in the Premiership. I'd love to see North End defy the critics and beat them to it though. I'm not as big a fan of football as I am of Rugby League but I would love to see my adopted town represented in the top division. It would also give me the chance to see Everton playing here. I used to combine watching Everton on a Saturday and Saints on a Sunday but as my commitments increased my disposable income decreased and I gave up the football.

If they do get promotion there would be eight North West teams in the Premiership - all within a radius of, what, 30 - 40 miles? To sustain the support of that many teams shows the appetite there is for sport of any kind in the region.

Good luck to the Lilywhites.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Never trust a Crown Green Bowler under 30"

'Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite' from the CD This Leaden Pall

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"I dream of occasional fanzine mentions, I've been to one too many David Lynch conventions,
I play postal chess with a man who doesn't know me, I've got a better frown than Tony Iommi."

'4AD3DCD' from the CD This Leaden Pall

http://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/

This reminded me of a similar exercise I undertook in a previous job.

I used to have a boss who bore more than a passing resemblance to Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees. One day a colleague and I decided we would see how many Bee Gees songs we could fit into a meeting with him. 'Tragedy' was easy. 'Words' too, 'Stayin' Alive' worked ok and an audacious 'I've Gotta Get a Message to You' was achieved. 'You Win Again' was fairly simple but eyebrows were raised when I described a useless idea as 'Jive Talkin''.

My colleague blew it with a suicidal attempt to shoehorn in 'New York Mining Disaster 1941'.

Champions League Final

Congratulations to Liverpool on their success in the Champions League Final.

As an Evertonian I listened (on 5Live initially) and later watched with mixed feelings. I must say that at first I was firmly in the Milan camp - long standing rivalry and all that. I finished coaching the U14s (Rugby League) at about 8pm and Liverpool were 1-0 down. By the time I dropped my son off at his Mum's it was 3-0. All over of course. When I got home, after a protracted disagreement with my ex-, the TV wasn't on and I didn't rectify the situation as I realised shortly afterwards that Dan had left his school shoes and I would have to take them round. On the radio went and I soon found out it was 3-2 and just at that moment Liverpool got the penalty which brought it level again. Any side that can pull a game round like that deserves to have that success so I can't begrudge the Reds their 5th European Cup victory.

The big talking point now is whether they will be back next year to defend the trophy. In common with the World Cup now there is no automatic entry into the next competition. They didn't finish high enough in the League this year to qualify that way so things don't look good for them at the moment. It has been suggested that they should take Everton's place but that won't happen. The rules for qualification were established before the season began and the Blues get the reward for a season of 'overachievement'. Besides, there would be riots in Liverpool if that happened. I had been following Everton home and away for a few years before we won the League in 1985. I was looking forward to competing with the best in Europe the following season (and we really were up there at that time) when a not insignificant event in Heysel Stadium occurred. Many Evertonians believe that if Liverpool had done the right thing and withdrawn voluntarily from European competition then therewould not have been a blanket ban on English clubs. To miss out because of Liverpool again, 20 years later, would be too much to take.
Of course, any other club who was forced to withdraw at Liverpool's expense could also point to the fact that the rules were known at the start of the season. The only way I can see them getting in is if UEFA punish Inter for the behaviour of their fans by withdrawing their entry.

I believe Liverpool should be allowed to defend the trophy and I hope a solution can be found - but forgive me if I don't lose any sleep over it.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Sealed Knot Society, let's see you try and do this one - Luton Town/Millwall 1985"

'Uffington Wassail' from the CD Trouble Over Bridgwater

Indulging in my favourite pastime - supervising Wiganers on their day out ... I mean supping quality beer.
(L to R: Neil_A, Jack the Biscuit, MickeyMo)

Vegetarian Week

So it’s National Vegetarian Week. I used to be a vegetarian. I’ll make no bones about it (pun intended) – I was seduced by Morrissey. Now before you phone Social Services I should point out that I was a consenting adult and it was only his views on Meat being Murder that impregnated me. I’m not a veggie any more. To be honest I was never that committed – I don’t mean I used to weaken during that time (although picking the meat bits out of a Pimbletts Meat and Potato pie was stretching my credibility a little) but I was never a vego-warrior. What turned me back to omnivorous eating was practicality/laziness. My first son was starting to eat solids and I got fed up of preparing three different meals each time we ate (my wife did not take to meat-free meals as readily as I did) so I thought ‘Sod It’ and went back to it after a couple of years. Whilst not the prime reason for giving up vegetarianism the mythical bacon sandwiches were an extremely welcome addition to my diet. I still laugh at people who say, “Yeah, I’m a vegetarian – but I eat fish … and chicken (only free-range mind)”.

I still have days where I don’t eat meat but it is not a conscious decision to avoid it – it’s just that some of the meals I enjoy don’t contain meat. I have vegetarian friends (does that sound a bit like “Some of my best friends are black/Asian/delete as applicable” ?) who don’t try to convert me or constantly harp on about it. I suppose my attitude is a bit like my attitude to Christianity (as well as the ‘Been there, tried that, bought the luminous dashboard figure of Jesus) – if you want to do it fine, just keep it to yourself and don’t get evangelical on me. Nature has decided that both plants and animals are part of the food chain. We, as humans, have the capability to digest both. So let’s just agree to disagree and go eat some good food.

Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric of the Day

"Trying to sell Clan of Xymox from your car boot, ain't gonna get you to no sunny place."

'Faithlift' from the CD Some Call It Godcore

Ian Millward

Well, the Ian Millward saga rumbles on and on. Rumour, claims, conjecture and speculation are still the order of the day. Personally speaking (and let’s face it, who else would want me speaking for them?) any sympathy I may have had for the man disappeared the moment he signed for Wigan. I know he was unemployed and needed work but to go to the Pie Eaters is the biggest kick in the teeth he could have administered to the Saints fans short of … well it’s hard to think of what would be worse.

When his suspension was first announced there was widespread disbelief that the club could treat their most successful coach in this way. There were long and vocal protests at and after the Challenge Cup game against York and most fans understandably took the side of the coach in the absence of any clear indications from the club about why they had proceeded in this manner. When the news filtered out that it was about swearing there was incredulity in abundance. Swearing? You must be joking. Or as the terrace chant had it – “F*ck off, he only said F*ck off!”. When the news got more concrete it appeared that there was more to it than just swearing – abusing an employee of Saints, abusing an employee of Warrington Wolves (using sexist language allegedly) and abusing an official of the RFL. Still some fans stuck by Millward although the mood on the Messageboards was shifting somewhat. Rumour persisted that despite the seriousness of these allegations there was something more serious which had not yet been revealed publicly – a rumour that still persists.

Millward continued to express his desire to continue coaching at St Helens, his love of the club and the players and his special relationship with the fans. He has allegedly previously expressed his hatred of Wigan and Maurice Lindsay at supportes’ meetings and now he has joined them as coach. Apparently it took him only five minutes to decide. I have seen his position compared to that of Gordon Strachan who, after leaving Southampton, was offered the job at their arch-rivals Portsmouth. Strachan said that the Portsmouth job was a great opportunity but not for a former Southampton manager. He has retained the respect and admiration of the Saints (football variety) fans for that. Had Ian Millward acted similarly he would have had the keys to the town for life and would have been welcomed back by the fans no matter which club he was with.

As it stands the fans are stunned that he could jump straight into bed with Wigan. Already he has started the mind games for which he is notorious by saying he would not flinch from signing Saints players leading to the inevitable speculation about who will jump ship. I see this as nothing more than an attempt to destabilise St Hellens before the new coach, Australian Daniel Anderson, has had a chance to establish himself. The players need reminding that their loyalty, such as it is, is to the club not to their ex-coach and that they are all under contract. Having said that if any player is still not 100% committed to St Helens after that reminder they should be told where the door is.

Eamonn McManus (Chairman) and Sean McGuire (Chief Executive) have done a tremendous job in turning the club around financially and should receive the backing of the fans.

It will be interesting to see what the reaction of the fans will be when Millward returns to Knowsley Road on 26 June in the Challenge Cup. Some Saints fans on the Messageboard have been wishing him luck in his new job. I’m sorry; good luck for Millward now means good luck for Wigan and I am not going to hope for that. I hope they stay a trophy-free zone for as long as they exist. I won’t boo Millward – I will concentrate on supporting my team and its new coach. I have seen Millward called Judas and I can’t disagree with that at the moment. It’s the ultimate betrayal. The only saving grace is that the issue has also divided the Wigan fans, who for years have referred to him as “Goldfish Gob” and worse.

We all need to move on now, however, and the best way to do that is to get behind Daniel Anderson and the players on Friday in their game against the League Leaders and current Champions Leeds Rhinos. It promises to be a hell of a night.

Time

... and why does the time appear incorrectly when I post? Do I always have to set it myself? The post on The Fall was my second one. I'll get the hang of this in a year or so.

Is a Dream a Lie if it don't come True, or is it Something Worse?

Well, here we go - my first attempt at creating a blog. Knowing my attention span it will probably last about three days but at least I will have given it a go.

What do you need to know? Well, I'm not sure how much I want to disclose at this stage. I'm not really familiar with blog etiquette so I will probably lose my inhibitions as time goes on.

My interests? Well, Rugby League is a big one (St Helens to be exact), as well as music (many types). I got into music when I was young and punk was just happening so for a while I was very exclusive and wouldn't give ear space to anything pre-1976 but as I matured I developed wider tastes and now I will give most things a go. I still like stuff with a bit of an edge but that doesn't necessarily mean loud and raucous (although it often does!). The last group I went to see were the Manic Street Preachers with my elder son (whoops - more personal info. You now know I have two sons).

I also like films although I don't get to the flicks as much as I would like. Last film was Hitchhikers Guide ....

I enjoy American cop shows such as Law and Order, The Shield, CSI etc.

I need to take stock now and decide how I approach this thing - maybe I should read a few more blogs before taking the full plunge!

The Fall

Now, I'm a big fan of the Fall - I first saw them in the late '70s at St Helens Tech lecture theatre. What a strange place for a gig - I felt like we should all have been taking notes. The youth of St Helens had done themselves proud - one even turned up in his pyjamas. I'm still not sure if that was a rebellion against the ongoing constrictions of the vagaries of fashion or whether he has clinbed out of his window after his mam had tucked him up for the night.

I've seen them, probably about 7 or 8 times since then but I was really disappointed in their performance on Later on Friday. They (well, Mark E to be honest) seemed really flat and disinterested. I wonder if he has given up trying to convert people to his sound and is happy to pander to his loyal audience. The best bit was the cheesy wave the band gave at the beginning of the show - nearly caused me to lose valuable beer as I suppressed a guffaw.

I'm not one of those people who think he has produced nothing of merit since the early '80s - some of the later stuff (Sparta FC, Touch Sensitive, Reckoning) is up there with the best but having anticipated the performance so much I was disappointed.

Oh well - I suppose I will have to try to justify the purchase of Perverted By Language Bis with the bonus of one of the Leeds gigs I went to now.