Diana Inquest

So Diana died in a car crash caused to a great extent by a driver, unfamiliar with the type of car and three times over the alcohol limit. Who'd have thought, eh?

Still, I blame the Duke of Edinburgh. Apparently he runs the country, you know. I wonder if Gordon knows? Probably not.

According to Mohamed Al Fayed it was the Secret Services commanded by Phil what dunnit. Jesus, if the best our Secret Services can come up with is a car crash we're in trouble. Not the most predictable assassination method I wouldn't have thought. Maybe a fire. Maybe they were supposed to be in Windsor Castle when that went up. Well, maybe not. That was five years earlier. Still, top marks to the Secret Services for trying.

Speaking of fires I understand the Daily Express spontaneously combusted on hearing the verdict. What headlines can they use now? Maybe the McCanns were involved, has anyone thought of that? Well, Al Fayed, obviously but just wait 'till the Express picks that one up.